The Journal Pulp

Breathing New Life Into Dead Meat

Mastering Your Mugshot

with 16 comments

Self-consciousness, as August Mclaughlin notes in a recent post, will almost invariably show through in your headshots. But there’s a way you can avoid it:

Don’t try to hard. Use your imagination to drift away during the shoot. In particular, don’t think about the photos during the shoot. This may sound odd, but it helps minimize self-consciousness — a potential awesome-photo wrecker. You know how we love characters with secrets? Have one! Look into the lens with your secret in mind… (source)

August, a quondam model who writes thrillers, gives us such sage advice here that I thought it would be instructive to see some real-life examples. The following are a few of my favorites:

This is an actual mugshot of Indiana paint-huffer Kelly Gibson. Here we see a relaxed young man, comfortable in front of the camera, without any trace of self-consciousness. Your secret is safe with me, he seems to be saying.





The calm, defiant look in Johnny Depp's eye ALMOST seems to be saying "Fuck you!"





This is an example of how NOT to take a mugshot, an obviously self-conscious Mel Gibson. Poor, poor photo.





This, on the other hand, taken some four years previous, is an excellent mugshot, a clearly relaxed and UNselfconscious Mel Gibson.






Vince Vaughn when he still had his edge -- and this mugshot shows it.




Man-O-War or Secretariat? That same unanswerable question can, I believe, be just as appositely applied to Nick Nolte's and James Brown's mugshots.




James Brown? Nick Nolte? Unanswerable!






But the clear winner is exactly whom you’d guess, that deadly handsome man:

The Thin White Duke: dandy and dapper even in jail




Speaking of deadly handsome, here’s a gorgeous video you’ve probably never seen, containing a song you’ve probably never heard:




(Hat tip August.)

Addendum: Matthew McConaughey — a cool breeze:





16 Responses

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  1. Wow, Bowie is impressive.

    Emma

    May 24, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    • Emma, it’s very nice to see you. Thank you. Every time I leave a comment on your website, your SPAM catcher chews it up and spits it out.

      (Not that I blame it.)

      journalpulp

      May 25, 2012 at 7:42 pm

      • I don’t know why that’s happening, sorry!

        Emma

        May 26, 2012 at 11:27 am

        • No, no, it’s nothing for you to be sorry about. Actually, we should all probably be grateful that you don’t have to read my obtuse comments. Still, I did want you to know that I like your website, Emma, and I so appreciate your comments.

          journalpulp

          May 26, 2012 at 8:58 pm

  2. Ha! Who knew could feel so touched by the middle finger gesture. Um, that came out wrong. So did that. (Agh! ;) )

    Thanks for the shout out and awesome post. Next time I hope to see you mug featured!

    August McLaughlin

    May 24, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    • Ha-ha!

      I, for one, had no idea, Ms. McLaughlin. How very revealing.

      Just incidentally, I added an addendum mugshot above, one I’d first seen years ago and forgot about until late last night: Matthew McConaughey at about age 28, arrested in the great state of Texas. That one is a winner, and I think even the meticulous Ken Dapper would approve. Scroll up.

      Thank you for your penetrating comment.

      journalpulp

      May 25, 2012 at 8:01 pm

  3. I’m going to start practicing. It’s only a matter of time until I need it.

    subtlekate

    May 25, 2012 at 12:02 am

    • A not very subtle take, subtlekate. But I like it.

      Thank you for dropping by.

      journalpulp

      May 25, 2012 at 8:14 pm

  4. David Bowie, why so flawless? Ugh.

    Great post. I stumbled across it when I was contemplating retribution that might lead to my own mugshot, so it was not only timely, but it made me feel better, too, so I might just get to put off my mug shot for a little more practice now.

    L.S. Engler

    May 25, 2012 at 2:30 am

    • Hello Ms. Engler. He’s one cool cat, that David Bowie, isn’t he? I heard him do a radio interview once — this was about five years ago — and a little boy named George (American) called in with the help of his father. George was four-years-old at that time, and he loved the David Bowie song “Kooks.” When they introduced the caller, the first words out of David Bowie’s mouth were:

      “Hiya, George!”

      It was so sweet and so endearing. But the upshot was that David Bowie sang an off-the-cuff version of “Kooks” for George, over the phone, and it was awesome.

      Just like you, Ms. Engler.

      Thank you for dropping by.

      journalpulp

      May 25, 2012 at 8:28 pm

  5. Love Bowie! Had the Labyrinth poster in my dorm room. So wickedly odd. Liked the Nolte shot too. :) WTF personified.

    Kecia Adams

    May 25, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    • A Labyrinth poster in your dorm room! Now that’s endearing. Wickedly odd, I agree, and oddly timeless, that movie. I’d have never thought it.

      Hey, Nick Nolte: WTF?

      journalpulp

      May 25, 2012 at 8:31 pm

  6. Two things to say: 1) Bowie is Beautiful. 2) Where is yours?

    S.W. May

    May 26, 2012 at 6:26 am


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